When it came to her long-anticipated career change, Lilly was swamped with coulda-woulda-shoulda thoughts.
Lilly was a coaching client of mine, and had made wonderful progress. She was staying focused, had made her desired career switch, and the circles under her eyes were gone. Still, despite her elation, one thought crept to the surface: “Why did it take me so long?”
After all, Lilly had known for years she wanted a career change. Her family, her clients, and even her business partner had been encouraging her to take the leap—but she stayed where she was. It wasn’t until rotator cuff surgery forced her to step away from work to recover that she finally made the career change happen.
Do you ever wish progress with career changes would come more easily — or more quickly? If you’ve felt this frustration, you’re not alone. What’s wrong with you? Nothing, except perhaps a tiny misunderstanding.
When we want to make a change, we tend to think that means we should instantly take action. We wonder why moving forward seems so difficult. If you think those pauses along the path are roadblocks then you may be a victim of unconscious self-sabotage.
Are you suffering from coulda-woulda-shoulda feelings that make you feel like you’re standing still when you should be moving forward? A tiny misunderstanding about change could be what’s sabotaging you.
It was sabotaging Lilly. And it’s probably what’s causing you to judge yourself so harshly.
What Lilly – and you – didn’t know is that the time it takes to make a career change was necessary. That time is filled with awareness and momentum building, which are key steps between wanting a change and taking the action that makes the change work.
When Lilly and I began to review the process that led to her career change, she recognized she had closed out the previous chapter of her career with a smooth hand-off of responsibility; she maintained strong, positive relationships with her business partner and her clients; and she had clarity about the new path she was on.
Once she became aware that time was absolutely critical to making the career change in a positive way—she was thrilled. She had two big successes to celebrate: the career change she made—and how she made it! These days, Lilly is standing tall, with a big smile on her face.
Are you asking yourself: “Why is this taking me so long?” Our fast-paced world of click-on-the-button resources makes us feel like we need to make click-of-the-button life decisions. We fear that we’re taking too long and, worse, that something is wrong with us if we take time with life decisions.
The truth, as Lilly’s story illustrates, is: Change is a process. It begins when we recognize we need to change. It takes time to define how to reach a goal, do it in alignment with your personal values, and build momentum towards the desired result. If we short-circuit the process, we may sabotage the very outcome we want.
When you’re wondering if change is taking too long, remember Lilly’s story. Maybe all you need to “do” at this moment is allow yourself the time to let your dreams and ideas percolate, and to let the “how” and “when” unfold, even if that pace feels uncomfortable.
Let the ideas flow in, and the energy build—until stepping into action is the natural next step to your happy future.
